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Post by Wild Willy on Jun 16, 2005 12:14:48 GMT -5
Mick Jagger and Dennis Weaver attended a party at the Playboy mansion. Dennis Weaver got into a dispute with Hef which tuned phisical. Hefner ended up ontop of Dennis Weaver and had him in a choke hold. Mick Jagger seeing that Hef was cutting of Weaver's air supply shouted out. " HEY! hey HUGH! hugh GET OFF OF McCLOUD!  Hey lets here you guys do better.  Will |
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Post by aburabusimbutu on Jun 16, 2005 14:28:29 GMT -5
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Why the long face?"
A man complains to his waitress that there's a hair in his hamburger. She says he should go tell the cook. When he goes back to the kitchen he sees much to his amazement that the cook is making the burgers by flattening the meat patties under his armpit.
"I can't believe it!" He says, "That's disgusting!"
The waitress answers- "That's nothing. You should see him make the donuts."
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Post by Wild Willy on Aug 3, 2005 17:22:36 GMT -5
The guy bursts into the house and yells, "Pack your bags, honey,
I just won the lotery for 10 million dollars!"
His wife says, "Wonderful! Should I pack for the beach or the
mountains?"
He replies, "I don't care... just get the f*ck out."
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Post by BlackKnight on Aug 3, 2005 18:58:26 GMT -5
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Post by Wild Willy on Aug 11, 2005 21:06:49 GMT -5
Why did the Condom fly across the room?  He got pissed off! ;D Will |
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Post by faithfulbutler on Aug 13, 2005 5:50:57 GMT -5
WHAT'S BROWN AND STICKY? a Stick  |
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Post by Wild Willy on Aug 13, 2005 19:02:27 GMT -5
Very nice FB. ;D A Mother tells her Little Boy " Son make sure you always wear clean underwear in case you get hit by a bus" The kid replied. " Mom, if I got hit by a bus I would probably shit my pants anyway." Will |
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Post by BlackKnight on Aug 14, 2005 10:31:12 GMT -5
Those are cool guys. ;D
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Post by apeaholic on Aug 15, 2005 20:24:56 GMT -5
I have a long winded one but it's real dumb....so here it goes.
A newlywed couple live in a small apartment and the walls are real thin. The husband asks the wife each night if she would like to go upstairs and have sex. The wife is horrified that all the neighbors will hear the husband ask, so she comes up with a secret code, instead of saying "Do you want to have sex" she tells the husband to say "Is the washing machine door open.
So the next night after dinner the husband says "Hey honey is the washing machine door open? She say "Nope it's shut tight. So he stomps upstairs and goes to bed.
The next morning the wife wakes early and snuggles up to her husband. She says "Morning darling I think the washing machine door is wide open, want to do some washing? He rolls over and says "No thanks I only had a small load so I did it by hand last night......
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Post by Wild Willy on Aug 16, 2005 6:51:44 GMT -5
Thats Killer Apeaholic Killer! ;D Will
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Post by faithfulbutler on Aug 17, 2005 19:51:20 GMT -5
That's great Andy i don"t think it belongs in the"Dumb"category. So i guess i'll dumb it down again now. What illness do Martial Artists suffer from? Kung Flu Now we're back in the Dumb category. ;D |
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Post by BlackKnight on Aug 17, 2005 22:21:36 GMT -5
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Post by apeaholic on Aug 18, 2005 17:02:08 GMT -5
Alright folks this one is really long and really dumb...
This guy has a hot date and goes to pick the nice young lady up right on time. When he rings the bell the girl's mom answers the door and says "Won't you please come in, my daughter will be down shortly. The girl's Mom then asks the young man to take a seat.. Just as he goes to sit down he feels the need to fart.....He thinks "I can't just rip a fart in front of this nice lady, what am I going to do??
Right then the family dog jumps up on the couch next to him. He thinks "I'm saved, I can sneak out a tiny fart and she'll think the dog did it". So he farts and suddenly the lady says "Rover, you get down this instant" , but the dog continues to sit right there. So the guy farts again, and again the lady demands "Rover, you get down", but the dog doesn't move. The guy thinks "Boy she really thinks it's the dog" so he farts again. By this time the lady has had it and she yells at the dog "Rover you foolish dog , get down right now before he shits all over you".........
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Post by Wild Willy on Aug 18, 2005 17:05:35 GMT -5
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Post by apeaholic on Aug 18, 2005 17:45:50 GMT -5
Like that one I take it? It was inspired by a true story, only it's a friends dog who comes and sits right by me every chance it gets and farts up a strom!!! I love animals but that dog is the meanest little thing. It really enjoys farting in my face. Honestly, I can tell by the way it looks so pleased each time it farts. When it really wants to get my attention it pees.... I'll see if I can think of a fitting pee joke for my next one. |
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